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I'll be honest.. I can't stand holidays.. The corny music.. The trees.. The turkeys.. The cards.. The lights.. Those annoying trick or treaters.. Guess what I did this Halloween.. I went to Walmart, because I didn't want any annoying trick or treaters at the door.. I didn't want to deal with it.. And the phone calls.. The holiday phone calls.. I can't tell you how many times I've been on the phone today.. I mean, sure, I could easily check my call log; but I simply don't want to rehash any of it.. I gotta tell you.. I hate talking on the phone, as it is.. And text messages.. Those are just as bad.. I happen to be one of those squares that's purchased a cell phone, simply for emergencies (or "important" things).. You want to know what one of the worst things you can possibly do to me is?.. Call me on the phone, just to chat.. Text me, so we can go and have a coffee.. You know what?.. I can think you're the best and most wonderful person in the world, but it doesn't mean that I want to get off of my couch to go out and chew the fat with you.. Nothing personal; really.. I've thought about this more than a couple of times, actually.. And I'm not angry.. I'm writing this with a smile, as I listen to The Marx Brothers in the background.. I was just made this way, that's all.. I have "friends" that I haven't seen since the first grade; and in my mind, we're still the best of friends.. But it doesn't mean that I want to go rollerblading with them or anything.. I like my privacy.. I'm a writer, at heart.. I'm content to simply observe from a distance, and meander through life in some sort of imaginative haze.. I don't necessarily need to "partake" in certain things.. And really, I don't care to.... All of this is just... I hate holidays.. They seem to bring this out of me.. I get the same way on my birthday.... On holidays, and my birthday, I prefer to just be alone; with a soda and the remote.. And when I happen to get fed up with myself, and wonder why exactly I go on this way... I think my only answer is... You really can't go back home.. Things are never gonna be as good as when you were younger... When you got that first bike.. Or when you discovered that it was your dad eating the cookies, and your mom filling the stockings.. Or when you didn't have to worry about things like if this one was going to be your last one, together.... You felt so safe...... That's enough...