"S-A-N-F-O-R-D, Period."

You don't realize just how disgusting your living situation happens to be until you know someone's coming over.. It's even worse when you DON'T know they're coming over, and your only warning is the doorbell... I've learned to hate the sound of my doorbell........ So....... I'm at home.. on a warm, Friday afternoon.. "YouTubing" like I do.. and I hear the doorbell ring... I figure it's a Jehova's witness, or someone trying to get me to subscribe to the newspaper... I rush to the door, quickly (yet quietly).. look out the peep-hole.. and realize that it's the guy that needs to check on a couple of things regarding the new house... warranty stuff... so... I scramble to find a pair of pants (I take my casual Fridays seriously) and answer the door... Long story short.... I ended up asking him to come back two and a half hours later, SO I COULD CLEAN...... That's.... embarrassing..... but it's not my fault... apparently, I married Fred Sanford... My wife will say, any day, that she's cleaner than me..... she's wrong..... and you can tell her I said this too..... So..... I must've burned eight thousand calories, single-handedly, cleaning this entire place.. all by my lonesome... but I'm glad.. because I no longer feel like I'm living on the set of "COPS"....